As I said in my previous entry I lost my light after I lost the man I loved…
Fast forward about 11 months…
Some days ago I bought this. I have spent last nights by fighting with vampires who are not afraid of cross, but Sh’ma.
I have made a decision: I keep this summer as free of commitments as possible and concentrate on my own spiritual growth.
I can say I am sure what the outcome will be, but being analytical and having the need to reason everything I want to be sure that this is what I want, not what someone in my past asked me to be. So, this blog will probably have occasional entry about analysing my religious views and the religion which feels like home. Or rather, following rabbi Adin Steinsaltz’s views, to find a family which I belong to, to extend my own family – and possibly return to my roots (being a person with a surname which also used among Jews (and is Hebrew – also)).
If I decide to continue on this path I will go back to Hebrew lessons in autumn and contact the rabbi – either local, if local congregation has one, or find a rabbi who is willing to guide my conversion even we may not ever meet.
Rabbis are supposed to dissuade person seeking conversion thrice, so that will also be learning experience for me: I am not very good with disappointments, even I know they are part of the path.
And when rabbi accepts my request to be guided through conversion process I’ll begun to seek for a Jewish partner, as, if you can’t share your values with one you love can you be really loved?
To be... 
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